March 22, 2013
James Holmes, who made headlines last year when he killed 12 and injured 59 theater goers, has reportedly converted to Islam. Now in jail and unable to commit further mass murders, it seems Holmes has turned to using his celebrity-killer status to give Republicans another excuse to hate Muslims.
It would come as no surprise if Fox News is presently airing a piece warning of the dangers Islamic extremists pose to the nation’s population of nerds and other comic book movie enthusiasts.
The credibility of the story however, has yet to be established. Unnamed prison sources conveyed this information to The National Enquirer, a publication not usually noted for its integrity. Holmes appeared in court recently after having grown a beard somewhere between The Hipster and The Kaczynski. It is entirely possible that other press outlets are running with this story solely on the basis that, in America, the link between beards, Islam, and murder is less contested than the link between fossil fuel and global warming.